Anal Play

Anal play means something different for a multitude of people. Anal play can consist of using external stimulation such as fingers, mouth, toys, and anal massages. Anal foreplay can be a great way to lead into the idea of penetrative anal sex. Previously, anal play was very taboo to discuss and in today’s world, there’s so many ways to enjoy anal play regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity. When considering anal play, trustworthy communication and consent is the most powerful key to enjoy a safe, thrilling anal experience. Below is our guide to decide if anal is right for you, and how to listen to your body, and safe practices.

Is Anal Right for Me?

In today’s world, anal is featured in so many adult films and gives the illusion that everyone must be doing it. Personally, I have talked with so many friends and acquaintances who are considering exploring anal and I have found that majority of people are only willing to explore anal to please their partners or are being pressured into trying it. If either of the two statements above are true, I don’t believe that anal would be the right choice for you. When deciding to explore something new, it is so important for you and your partner to both consent and even just you during solo play. Be completely honest with yourself if anal is something that you truly want to consider. If it is right for you, don’t be afraid to reach out to your friends with tips and tricks or do a little research beforehand. Anal play can be very satisfying and thrilling but only if you are willing!


When we think of anal, the number one word that comes to mind for most people is poop. It is only natural to express concerns about it because of the nature of where the sexual act is taking place. In my personal experiences, poop is not a common occurrence. Here are some tips that I recommend trying before any anal play or penetration: using the bathroom an hour or two before any anal play or using an enema to flush out your rectum with water and saline beforehand. Either option is not imperative to achieve satisfying anal play, sometimes poop just happens! If you still have any doubts, a condom is a useful tool in preventing any direct contact with any fecal matter. For best practices, always use a condom unless both parties have been recently tested for sexually transmitted diseases.

Just Relax:

I cannot emphasize this enough; relaxation is so important! When we are tense, our muscles contract and do not allow easy access. Being informed about your general anatomy and knowing how everything works is helpful when going into uncharted territory. When we talk about stretching muscles for sex, what muscles are we talking about? The external and internal sphincters (butthole) need to stretch open, relax, and allow for entry. You can control your external sphincter (skeletal muscle) consciously while the internal sphincter is not under voluntary control. When people experience pain during anal play or anal sex, a reason for that can be that the external sphincter is not relaxed enough. If you are afraid, anxious, worried, or fearful, your sympathetic (fight or flight) nervous system completely takes over. To ensure a positive experience take time to relax, prepare yourself, and be ready to enjoy your anal encounter!

How to Get Started:

 When starting out with anal play, it is imperative to begin by using your fingers, small anal toys, and lube! Lube is your best friend when it comes to dipping your toes into this new venture. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not self-lubricant when a person is aroused or during sexual activity. Lube prevents unwanted tearing and serious discomfort if used properly. I recommend using a lube that works best for you! Personally, I like to use an oil-based or silicone-based lube since both lubes have long lasting capabilities. Please keep in mind that you cannot use an oil-based lube with latex condoms because the oil disintegrates latex, and the condom will break. Also avoid using silicone lubricant on silicone toys because it damages the toys integrity.

Listen to Your Body:

I can give you all the best tips and tricks for optimal anal pleasure but what it comes down to is knowing YOUR body best. There isn’t a right or wrong way to introduce yourself and/or your partner to anal play. If you feel as if it is right, skip right to anal penetration and avoid all the in-betweens. If at any point you find yourself experiencing extreme pain or discomfort, it is highly recommended to ease off. Please be sure to always respect your limits and your partners limits. It’s perfectly fine to take a break and start fresh or end your anal journey all together!


The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images, and other materials contained on this website are for informational purposes only. The purpose of this website is to promote broad consumer understanding and knowledge of various sexual health and wellness topics. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.

%d bloggers like this: